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Midnight Ambiance at Malibu (10-3-02)

I have never surfed Malibu during the day. Why bother? If it is any good, there will be a jillion idiots, kooks and monkeys out there jockeying with each other for a perfect mush burger. It is too close to LA, the water's dirty, and as a sponger, I would get zero (0) respect. Besides, my aunt lives at Little Dume point just north of there and so I get to use the key. When I lived in Manhattan Beach, I used to go to her house all the time. So did my friends. I would call my 9 year old cousin and ask about the waves. One day he said "it's huuuuge". We would blaze up there and surf all day back before surfing at that particular spot became 'trendy'. After I moved north to San Luis Obispo, my 'friends' would sometimes show up and tell my aunt that they were "meeting me". She now rents out some rooms there to students. I went there recently after a long dry spell and waltzed right in like I have been doing for 25 years. Some freshly showered nude girl comes out holding up a towel and asks whom I am. I always get stumped on relative titles, like Dianne is my aunt, but I'm her what? It doesn't look good but I have the edge; if I really were up to something, she can fight me with one hand and a towel or two hands naked. I've met her twice before but I am reduced to a stuttering cat burglar, exposed by the daylight. Later, my aunt informs her that I have "full house privileges". That's gotta hurt.

So it was with much resistance that I surfed Malibu Point for the first time. My friend Dave D. convinced me it was the greatest thing going. The only reason I agreed was that we would get in the water...AT NIGHT! I'm a big fan of trying something new so that some day when I am older and even more decrepit, I can say "oh yeah, I did that". So we get the swell right and all that and meet in the parking lot for the pre-dawn patrol. Now, you may be asking, how did you see? or we're you scared, or how does he get off on so many tangents in the intro? Well, I'm getting to that. The set-up at Malibu has a string of streetlights on the highway, a bunch of lights on the pier and the ever present glow of urban sprawl that is LA. A full moon would be too easy. So we walk out there and some folks are looking for grunion fish on the sand. Their flashlights spook the fish so when I get there in the dark, the sand is squirming with fornicating fish. Dave has the night surf thing wired so my strategy is to sit next to him. This is tricky after getting a wave because everyone looks the same in the dark. The surf is reeling. Inside first point it is overhead to the sand. Nutz! The wind is offshore, dry and crisp. What I thought was an overrated longboard wave proves itself to be a speeding machine of perfection for over 100meters. You get out and walk back. The trickiest part is 'seeing' a wave coming. I found myself paddling like mad on a blind hunch. When I felt myself being lifted up I turned and went. Once you are facing the shore, it's a cakewalk. Blazing down the line so fast the small offshore chop clatters under your board is good stuff. I dragged my hand on a cutback and my ring got yanked right off my finger.

It is about 1AM in the middle of a miracle session. We see shooting stars overhead and hear some thrashing in the dark, which we assume is a seal. The filthy water is teaming with bioluminescence so that each paddle makes a bright green plume of light emanate from your hand. People wear white t-shirts so you hopefully don't run or get run over. Nonetheless my friend nails some guy in the cheek with his elbow and knocks him silly. Poop happens. While we're on the topic of poop, I might point out that right upstream is a sewage plant that dumps its 'treated' poop right into the creek that is responsible for the point, which is responsible for my miracle session. I try to convince myself that all the bacteria are asleep after dark. A few years ago I read that some guy from Goleta got some organism from the water at Malibu that ate a hole in his heart and killed him. More recently, a girl I know had 2 surgeries to stop an infection of flesh-eating bacteria she picked up from a surfboard injury a few miles north. Sounds like I got off easy (see "Something In My Mind"). I try to keep my mouth shut and my hair dry and think about the annoying wet girl in the towel as the glowing trails follow the darting fish.

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