Toobs.com

	Wisdumb
	Seeing Eye To Eye (11-28-01) One of the frustrating things about living in Santa Barbara is our general lack of surf, locally. Our coast faces due south but the Channel Islands are in the way. I avoid thinking about how good it would be here if they would step aside once in a while during summer because it can make you crazy(er). In winter the swells march down the channel and pound Ventura while we get waist high and "fun". To the west there is the Ranch that also sucks in swell leaving us in the shadow. When we do get waves, you have to drop everything and hit it because it could be gone tomorrow. This particular day 2 winters ago, was one of those days where it is cranking everywhere but Santa Barbara proper. We decided to walk along the beach to a reef break that tends to be much bigger under the right conditions. (Yeah, I am leaving all sorts of details out here. Thanks for asking.) The walk is about an hour along the beach. Sometimes there is sand and sometimes there are rocks. Today there was a little of both so the 3 mile walk was slow. Turns out, it is cranking. The place is a deepwater break that is a big freight train. It really only works when it is a minimum 8' face and holds as big as you can handle. Two weeks before we were there and it was borderline terrifying. The place is funny because it looks like a big mush burger. But it is deceiving since it is moving so fast and breaks a lot of boards. When it is working right, you take off, go really fast down the line, the wave backs off a bit, reforms and throws out a huge tube on the inside. I got the biggest dropknee tube ride of my life on one the second time I surfed there. (Thought I was going to die). After getting a bunch of waves I started the 3-mile walk back. It was one of those walks that have a bit of a bounce cuz you just scored a bunch of bombs and feel like a star. Just as I was finishing making a print of my fins in drying cement outside of Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, a bug flies in my eye. This happens all the time when I am riding my bike and it is usually a little gnat that drowns in my tears. Unfortunately, it is PAYBACK TIME. I try to wipe the thing out but it is kind of big, which makes me try to close my eye at the same time, making the matters exponentially worse. Sensing imminent doom, the bug goes on the defense and starts fighting back by BITING MY EYE. Up until now, I have been trying to do this with my fins in one hand and my board in another (which takes a bit of time to get the leash right and everything). Total panic hits like a load of bricks. I scream like a little girl, throw all my stuff up in the air and run and dive face first into the nearest tide pool and start thrashing about, making an awful froth. Before I was walking leisurely waiting for my friends to catch up. Now I am bolting for the side view mirror on our car to check for damage. At this point you are probably thinking I am going to say that it laid eggs in my brain or that blood was squirting out of my eye like a GWAR concert, but it didn't. It just felt like there was a grain of sand in there that wouldn't go away. The next morning my left eye was nearly glued shut with a dollop of eye-booger epoxy. After wiping it away, I could see fine and thus lived to surf another day, but with more squinting. more stories >>