so……. I was driving my friend Robbie back to the “rest home”. 86 years old, advancing ALS disease….dreading the day when he will be moved to the other side of the facility into full time nursed care. I know he is hoping he will die in his sleep because we have talked about it. Why he is in this prison and not at home is something I struggle to understand. He tells me at coffee, ” I called ****** yesterday. She was in a bad mood. Her leg hurt. I told her I would call her again when she felt better..” Oh! I had to bite my lip! There are things in that relationship I do not understand and will probably never know of. ****** is his wife of 50+ years who seems to have banished him to ‘that’ place. Ugh…things I will never know. “Oh well?” I say… as a close friend has advised me to use instead of the other word of indifference.
What is right and what is wrong? Not for me to judge I suppose. I really need to get comfortable with this concept as I move into Robbie’s age zone. I must. I asked Robbie, ” Do you think that at a universal level….all is right and proper?”, ” Absolutely” he answered, ” even with all the struggle, strife and trouble in this world?”, “Absolutely” …… “even if the human species succeeds in annihilating themselves and destroying the ecology of the planet?”….. “Absolutely”…… ” then it will be an opportunity of a species lifetime lost forever?”…. “The universe will not even notice Buzz…the universe is full of opportunity.”….. “Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…. see you Friday for lunch my friend?” ..” I look forward to it, ” he said and I drove away one more time from the prison they call a “rest home”.
On the threshold
Peace
B
Buzz; Pride that blinds….perhaps…..Now thats a word I have not heard for some time, and uncanny as it is I referred to the actions and ramifications of a matter at work, as hubristic by the offending being…… Pride before a/the fall….in this case. Kooky.
Such peace and absoluteness in entrapment. That takes a great deal of courage at being one. With one. And yes, it must be hard to witness and reconcile the primal disease of confliction in views huh. That takes courage to.
You. Friend. Good [Frankienstein]
;-X
Miff
Robbie Robertson, the wee Scotsman. Born in the slums of Edinburgh of a socialist coal miner father and a hardcore Calvinist mother. First of his family to go to college. Engineering degree. Conscientious objector in WWII so they made him a hardhat salvage diver. Came to the US in mid 1950′s with his best Irish friend Gilley . Drove cross country in a homemade camper trailer. Worked in the aerospace and defense industry his whole career. Those were the jobs in the golden age of the American west economy. Practiced the philosophy of Mahayana Buddhism for most of his adult life. Struggled the dualistic dilemma as most highly intelligent humans must.
A cherished friend and mentor.
Miff,Friend,Good(Of Mice and Men)
Old age should burn and rage at close of day…
At least that is my plan.
Jauncho, take care not to be in a situation where you lose control of you destiny and your *plan*. That is what has happened to Robbie. Like Miff said “entrapment”.
Peace on yah brother I hear you!
I know it is a heartbreaking situation. I remember my grandfather telling me, “Dying is not for the weak.”